Author's note:  Alternate ending for "Bat Poop Crazy" (3x06)

My Pleasure

Walter's brain churned through the day's events. Rabid bats, dying scientists, the seemingly endless costume photo shoot, Agent Linehan figuring out his marriage was a sham. . . All of those events, or even less horrendous ones, like blowing up a cave wall using candy corn, should have stood out in his mind. But they didn't.

All he could recall was weight of Paige's body atop his after they had slid down a fifty foot drop. The story she had told him about her father and how he'd been crushed when her mother had left. Remembering the way she looked in her Halloween costume, with its short skirt, her hair pulled up on top of her head, those glasses. . .

He shifted uncomfortably under his covers. He had to stop thinking about her or he'd never get any sleep. It was already past midnight. He needed to. . .

The downstairs door opened, its creaking echoing throughout the garage. He sat up, throwing off his blanket, wondering who it could be. An intruder would have set off alarms. And since that hadn't happened, it must be one of his co-workers. But who would still be out so late?

"Walter?"

Closing his eyes, he groaned as he recognized the voice uttering his name. Paige. What was she doing here? She was supposed to be out trick or treating with her son and the interloper, not disturbing his already troubled sleep.

She called out again, her footsteps tapping as she crossed the lower floor. He listened as she climbed the stairs, his body coiling tighter with every step. Trembling with anticipation, he heard her approach his bedroom.

"Walter?" A soft knock accompanied her quiet inquiry.

His breathing grew harsh as he barely managed to get the words "Come in" past his lips.

The door opened slowly, revealing the woman of his dreams, still dressed in her Halloween costume.

"What are you doing here?" At least that was what he meant to say. Only it came out as "Whaaa. . ." before his throat closed up as she moved closer to his bed.

"I didn't wake you, did it?" she asked. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Walter, but. . ." She inhaled sharply. "But I need to know what you meant earlier. When Ralph thought you wanted to take us out. . ."

"I, uh, I. . .I never said. . ." he sputtered, his heart pounding in his chest. "R-Ralph misunderstood."

"I don't think he did." She inched forward. "I think you wanted to take us trick or treating."

"S-So what if I did?" he countered. "You went with Tim." He narrowed his eyes. "Where is he? H-He's not w-waiting downstairs, is he?"

"No. he's probably at his apartment. He dropped me and Ralph at our place a couple of hours ago. My neighbor is keeping an eye on Ralph." She smiled. "Does that answer all your questions?"

"Yes," he replied. "All but one." She arched an eyebrow. "Why are you here?"

"Because I can't stop thinking about you." Shoving her hands into her lab coat pockets, she swung them from side to side. "Today, in the cave. . .it felt like the way it used to between us. Having each other's back, being able to confide in each other. . . Before Linda. Before Tim. I've missed it. I've missed us."

"I've missed it, too." Walter swallowed nervously. "I-I-I. . . You c-could have w-waited until tomorrow to. . ."

"I couldn't sleep." She sat down uninvited on the opposite side of his mattress. "I should be exhausted. All the spelunking, and chasing Ralph from house to house, going through his candy, finally getting him down from his sugar high so he could go to bed. . . But I'm not. I feel restless, like something's wrong. It took me awhile but I finally figured out what it was."

Smoothing his blanket with her hand, she gazed up at him through her lens-less glasses. "It was us, Walter. We're what's wrong. And I want to fix it."

She rose up off the bed, shedding her long white jacket while she kicked off her shoes. Reaching up, she unpinned her hair, letting it cascade down to touch her shoulders. Then she rested one of her knees atop the mattress, lifting her skirt higher up her thigh.

"F-F-Fix how?" he choked out. He thought he knew what she meant, but he needed her to say it.

"By doing something we should have done a long time ago."

She crawled toward him, pushing him back against his pillows before straddling his legs.

"P-P-Paige. . ."

Placing a finger on his lips, she leaned over him. "Do you want me?"

He nodded. Moving closer, she touched her lips to his lightly before pulling away. She started to remove the glasses but he stayed her hand.

"L-Leave them on."

A huge grin broke out on her face. "You like them, huh?" Grasping his face in her hands, she then slid them up into his hair, threading her fingers through his curly hair. She didn't give him a chance to answer as she nipped his earlobe before kissing along his jaw until their lips met.

A tortured moan escaped him as he felt her tongue glide inside his mouth, tangling with his own. The purring noises emanating from the back of her throat loosened his hold on his rapidly dissolving control.

"Paige," he murmured when they came up for air. "I-I don't. . . I mean, I haven't. . ."

"Shh. . ." She pressed her body to his, conjuring up memories of their accidental embrace in the cavern. "It's okay, Walter." She breathed his name into his ear and a shiver ran down his spine. "We can stop if you want."

"No." He wanted her. She obviously wanted him. He didn't need to be a genius to know he'd be a fool to turn her away.

"Good." She pushed up her glasses and smiled at him. He hadn't thought he could become even more aroused, but he'd been painfully wrong.



Walter woke with a start. Rubbing his hand over his face, he realized it must be morning since sunlight streamed through the windows.
"Paige," he whispered as the night's events came rushing back to him. He turned to where she had been curled up against him, sated and sleepy, before he had drifted off.

She wasn't there. Panic filled him as he ran his hand over the cool sheets where she had slept. Lying still, he listened for noises indicating she was somewhere else in the garage; downstairs, in his kitchen, the bathroom. . . Nothing but silence greeted him.

Sitting up, he closed his eyes. Had he dreamed the whole thing? Paige in her costume, the mind blowing sex, the declarations of love murmured as they laid entwined afterwards.

He ran his hands through his hair. It had seemed so real, so vivid. Her soft skin, her breathy gasps and moans, how amazing it had felt as she climaxed when he had been deep inside her. It couldn't have just been his subconscious running wild. He refused to believe it.

Gradually, he became aware he was naked. He never slept in the nude. Scanning the room, he saw his t-shirt crumpled into a ball in the far corner, his boxers hanging on the bedside lampshade.

Taking a deep breath, he caught the scent of lavender still lingering in the air. Maybe he'd grown too warm in the night and had thrown off his undergarments. Maybe she'd straightened out his bed after Ralph had slept on it a few nights earlier. Perhaps they were just coincidences.

Wondering what time it was, Walter glanced at the clock on his nightstand, catching a glimpse of something which didn't belong. Scooting forward to get a closer look, his heart skipped a beat as he remembered how he had finally slipped them off her and set them aside.

He hadn't been hallucinating. It hadn't been a dream.

Paige's costume eyeglasses rested on his nightstand next to the clock.



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