Author's note: AU ending for that painful, painful
Waige scene from Chernobyl Intentions (2x23)
There's Risk Involved
He couldn't believe what he had just done. He had to be the world's smartest
idiot. Giving her the tickets then telling her to take Tim. Why had he done
that? He couldn't blame Happy for leaving in disgust. He would have done
the same had the situation been reversed.
Walter stared at his computer screen, although he wasn't really seeing
it. A flash of yellow caught the corner of his eye.
Paige. He sensed her presence, mostly by the scent of the lavender hand
cream she used, but also by the shiver that traveled up his spine whenever
she was near. Slowly, he turned his chair before rising to his feet.
"I can't accept these," she said, her fingers holding the tickets down
on his desk.
"Okay." He swallowed nervously. "Why?"
"Because I don't want to go with Tim."
"You don't?" His voice cracked so he repeated the question. "You don't?"
"No."
"Okay." Reaching down, he put his fingers on the pieces of cardboard,
intending to pull them away. But she was pressing too hard and they wouldn't
budge. He raised his head to look at her and saw that she was upset.
"Do you really want me to go with Tim?" she asked.
No. Hell no. He didn't want her to have anything to do with the Navy Seal/Homeland
trainee. But what if the other man could make her happy? Happier than she
would ever be with him?
"I-I. . ."
"Because I don't think you do." She took a step closer.
"I don't," he acknowledged. "I was going to. . . to. . ."
"Ask me to go with you?" she finished for him. "I was going to say yes,
Walter. But you didn't even give me a chance."
"There's too much risk involved," he began. "You're too important to the
team, to-to me, to lose. I'll screw it up. I always do."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Walter,"she said. "Are you
going to physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse me?"
"No, of course not." He was surprised she would even ask. He would never,
had never. . .
"Would you sexually abuse Ralph?"
"God, no." He couldn't breathe. "What?. . . Why would. . .? Oh, God, did
someone. . .?"
"No, but there was this guy I went on a date with once," she explained.
"He was a little too interested in Ralph, so I never saw him again. He creeped
me out."
Walter's whole body sagged with relief. He never thought of that before,
what a single mother might have to endure, how some men would take advantage.
. . Tamping down the urge to vomit, he stared at her, his respect for her
growing tenfold.
"Would you cheat on me?"
"No, never." He knew how much fidelity meant to her. It was one of the
first things he learned about her. And he couldn't ever believe there would
be a time where he no longer desired her.
"Would you get me pregnant then abandon me?"
Pregnant. The image of Paige, her belly swollen with his child, flashed
through his mind, nearly making his knees give out. He hadn't even thought
of the possibility until that moment, and now he wanted it more than anything.
"Yes."
"What?" The incredulousness in her voice made him realize he has answered
incorrectly.
"I mean, no, I would never abandon you. Never."
Her cheeks grew pink. "But you would get me pregnant? Is that what you're
saying?"
"No, yes, I don't know." This time, his legs did buckle and he had to
sit down. He gazed up at her. "Why are you asking me. . .?"
"Those are my deal breakers," she announced. "Walter, I already knew you
would never do anything of those things. But I had to make a point. There
is nothing else you could do that would screw this up for me. Nothing. I
know you. I know what you're capable of. And what you're not. I'm willing
to take the risk. You need to be too."
"But. . .but what about Tim?"
"He's sweet and nice," she said. "But he's not what I want. He doesn't
keep me up at night. He doesn't send a shiver up my spine whenever he's near.
He's not you."
Walter felt light-headed. She wanted him. Not Tim. Not Drew. Him. And
she was willing to risk not only herself, but her son as well. She had so
much more to lose than he did. She should be the one who was scared shitless.
But she wasn't. And if she wasn't, he shouldn't be either.
He looked down at where their fingers were still pinning the tickets to
his desk. He lifted his eyes to look at hers.
"I have these tickets," he began, tugging on them once again. She raised
her hand, allowing him to pick them up. "So I. . .uh. . .I wanted to ask
if you would like to go to the Lake Tahoe Jazz and Heritage Festival. . .with
me."