"Dead Men Tell No Tales"

Written by Philip John Taylor
Directed by Ron Satlof

First US Airdate 5 Jan 1990 Episode 1.1

[Exterior shot of the de la Vega hacienda at night.  Diego is in the library where he has set up a telescope.  He peers through it then writes down something.  Again he looks through the scope at the moon, then again records what he sees with a quill.  Once more he peers through the telescope when Felipe comes into the room carrying a lit lamp.]

Diego [indicating the lamp]
Turn out that light.

[Felipe quickly blows out the flame.  Diego dips his quill in a bottle of ink and writes more observations.]

Diego
What is it, Felipe?

[Felipe turns and points at the clock on the wall opposite them. The clock shows that it is about twenty minutes past midnight.]

Diego
Well yes, I know the hour is late. [He looks through the scope again.]  You see there is one obstacle which has vexed astronomers down through the ages. [He writes again.] Man can only study the moon at night.

[Diego looks up at Felipe and clasps him on the shoulder.]

Diego
Take a look.

[Felipe leans down and peers through the telescope.  The full moon glows brightly.]

Diego
Isn't she magnificent?  She's the empress of all she surveys. [He pats Felipe on the shoulder.] You know one day I believe we'll actually journey to the moon.

[Felipe jumps back away from the telescope and looks at Diego like he is crazy.]

Diego
I don't mean you and I, Felipe.  When I say ‘we', I mean mankind.

[Felipe smiles with relief.  Diego then hears something in the distance.  He aims the scope lower before looking through it.]

Diego
Who could be in such a hurry at this time of night?

[Diego sees a man riding on horseback, whipping the reins from side to side, his cape flowing in the wind.]

Diego [taking his eyes away from the lens]
That man is riding like a pack of jackals are after him.

[He and Felipe look at each other, then Diego returns to peering through the telescope.]

[Victoria is walking through the main room of the tavern.  She picks up a candle that is sitting on the bar as there is a loud knock on the door.  She drops the hat she is carrying on a table near the door before pulling back the bolts and opening the door.]

Victoria
Mendoza, couldn't it have waiting until morning?

[It is not Mendoza but a man in a brown cape and hat standing there, glaring at Victoria.]

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

[Victoria stares at the man on the tavern threshold.]

Man
A room for the night, Señorita.

Victoria
A room?  It's rather late.

Man
And I have ridden long and hard. [He lets his cape drop open dramatically, revealing his saddlebags on his left shoulder.] Is this a tavern or is it not?

Victoria
Very well, this way please.

[Victoria turns and leads the man into the tavern.  The door shut noisily behind him.  They entered one of the rooms and the man takes the candle from Victoria.]

Man [rudely]
Is the best you have to offer?

Victoria
I'm afraid so.  But as you said, it's just for one night.

Man [taking his saddlebags off his shoulder and tossing them on the foot railing of the bed]
Then I suppose it will have to suffice.  I expect breakfast at dawn.

Victoria
So early?  You must have a long journey ahead of you.

Man
It is none of your business. [He begins to push her out of the room.] At dawn.  Don't forget.]

[He pushes her out into the hallway and slams the door in her face.]

Victoria
Si, Señor.  Buenas noches.

[She turns around, a very exasperated expression on her face.]

Victoria
Oooo!

[At dawn the next morning, a peddler pushes his cart across the plaza.  Mendoza opens the gates of the cuartel.  He pauses to yawn and scratch his belly.]

Mendoza [sleepily]
I should be in bed.

[He then walks across the plaza, swiping an apple from the peddler's cart.]

[Victoria carries a tray to her guest's room and knocks on the door.]

Victoria
Señor Morales? Buenas dias.

[She knocks on the door again.]

Victoria
Señor Morales?

[She pushes the door open then screams.  The tray she was carrying crashes to the floor.  Señor Morales is lying on the bed, blood staining his white shirt. She screams again, attracting the attention of Mendoza who is washing his apple in the water of the fountain.  He runs toward the tavern, his apple falling to the dirt.  Victoria sees a bloody knife on the floor and kneels down to pick it up.]

Victoria
Dios mio.

[She looks at the knife.  Loud footsteps announce the arrival of Mendoza.]

Mendoza
Señorita, I was just bringing the Alcalde's coffee when I heard you scream. [He sees the dead man on the bed then notices the knife in Victoria's hand.] Señorita, what have you done?

[Victoria is at a loss for words and only shakes her head.]

[Exterior shot of the de la Vega hacienda.]

Diego [off camera]
Felipe, it's time for you to learn some swordsmanship.

[In the cave, Diego goes to the rack that holds several swords and takes down two of them.]

Diego [tossing one of the swords to Felipe, who catches by the hilt.]
Here.

[Felipe immediately brandishes the weapon at Diego, who knocks it out of his hand.]

Diego
Excellent.  But you forgot the salute.  Very impolite.

[He stands with one hand on his hip, and points his blade upwards.  Felipe shrugs.]

Diego [interpreting]
You don't care if you're impolite?

[Felipe makes a slashing motion across his throat.]

Diego
You're trying to kill him? [He shakes his head with a laugh.] No, Felipe, the salute is an essential part of the ritual. [He has walked toward Felipe as he speaks.]

Don Alejandro [off camera]
Diego!

Diego
I thought my father went to town?

[Felipe nods.  Diego tosses Felipe his sword and runs out of the cave.  He emerges from the fireplace then sprints over to the piano, where he sits down and starts playing.  Don Alejandro comes into the room and stares at Diego.]

Don Alejandro [a bit bewildered]
That's strange.  I looked in here just a... [He then becomes serious.] Have you heard the news?

Diego [looking up at his father as he continues to play]
No.

Don Alejandro
Señorita Victoria has been arrested.

Diego [stopping his playing]
On what charge?

Don Alejandro
Murder.  Sergeant Mendoza found her in a dorm with a bloody dagger in her hand and a dead man at her feet.  They arrested her on the spot. [Diego starts playing again.] Now I ask you, how could anyone possibly believe that Victoria would ever . . .  Ah, it's an outrage! [He begins pacing back and forth.]

Diego
How convenient that the good sergeant just happened to be passing by a such an early hour.

Don Alejandro
Yes. [He stops his pacing as he realizes what Diego has said.] What was that?

Diego [acting innocently]
Ah, nothing.  Just an idle thought.

Don Alejandro
Um, the Alcalde is up to something.  Victoria needs our help.

[Diego stops playing and gets to his feet.]

Diego
You're right. I'll take a basket of food to the jail for her.

Don Alejandro
And that's all?

Diego
What else can we do?  There's no evidence against the Alcalde.

[Don Alejandro rolls his eyes and walks away.]

[In the pueblo, Mendoza searches through the basket of food Diego has brought for Victoria.]

Diego [leaning nonchalantly against the cuartel gate]
Everything in order, Sergeant?  No files, no pistols?

Mendoza
Ah, the custard looks mouth-watering, Señor.

[Diego laughs.]

Mendoza
I'd better examine it further. There might be a weapon at the bottom.  No, nothing there.

[He reaches his hand into the basket and pulls out a handful of the custard.  He gives the basket back to Diego and leads him inside the garrison, eating the custard as he walks.]

[Mendoza and Diego enter the jail area.  Diego hands the basket back to Mendoza and rushes over to the cell where Victoria is being held.]

Diego
Señorita Escalante!

Victoria [getting to her feet]
Don Diego!

Diego
I brought you some food.

[Mendoza unlocks the cell door.]

Mendoza
And it is very tasty too.

[Victoria snatches the basket from him.  Mendoza closes the door and relocks it.  He then departs.  Victoria takes out an apple from the basket and polishes it on her skirt.  Diego waits until Mendoza is gone before speaking.]

Diego
Don't touch the custard.  It was make especially for the sergeant.

[Victoria looks up at him curiously before taking a bite of the apple.]

[Mendoza is walking across the plaza when he is spotted by Ramone.]

Ramone 
Ah, Mendoza.  I want you to. . .

Mendoza [clutching his stomach]
I'm sorry, Alcalde.  Urgent business.  Oooo!

[Mendoza runs off, still clutching his belly as Ramone stares after him in confusion.]

[Diego paces in the cell block as Victoria explains what happened.]

Victoria
He was very tall.  And very rude.  Oh, and he also had a mustache.

Diego [continuing to pace]
Whoever killed him certainly had a reason.  Find out exactly who this Morales was and you're closer to finding the real killer. [He stops pacing and looks at Victoria.] At least that's what my father believes.

Victoria
But how can it be done?

Diego
The dead man's belongings?

Victoria
The Alcalde impounded them at once.  They are locked away in his office.

Diego [looking away from her, deep in thought]
Indeed.

Victoria
Don Diego?

[He turns his head back to look at her.]

Victoria [pleadingly]
Please help me.

[Exterior shot of the de la Vega hacienda as a peasant passes by leading a donkey.]

Diego [off camera]
Felipe!

[Felipe is in the cave, sweeping the floor when Diego emerges from the tunnel.]

Diego [unbuttoning his shirt]
Felipe!  Saddle Toronado.

[Diego removes his shirt as Felipe makes a ‘Z' in the air.]

Diego [hanging up his white shirt and grabbing his black one off of the clothes rack]
Yes, tonight Zorro rides.

[Felipe runs over to Toronado's stall as Diego puts on Zorro's black shirt.]

[Zorro rides Toronado toward the pueblo.]

[Zorro climbs the side of the Alcalde's office, using his whip as a rope.  He reaches the roof and starts to walk across it.  Hearing someone cough, Zorro dives down onto his stomach.  A soldier is lighting his cigar right below where Zorro is.  Zorro rises to his feet and walks cautiously across the tile roof.  When his foot dislodges one of the tiles, he uses his whip to catch it before it hits the ground.]

Zorro [putting the tile back into place]
I wish the Alcalde would have this roof repaired.

[He continues his journey across the roof.  Zorro hangs upside down to peer into a window, then somersaults down to the ground.  The key in the door of the Alcalde's office begins to rattle before popping out of the keyhole and onto a corner of Zorro's cape.  It slides under the door.

Zorro opens the door and walks into the office.  Glancing around, he notices a trunk near the Alcalde's desk.  Using his sword, he picks the trunk's lock and opens the lid.  Rummaging around, he pulls out the dead man's saddle bags.  He reads the inscription on their crest and smiles.  He tears a blood stained piece off the shirt Morales was wearing when he was stabbed and secretes it under his cape.

Zorro then turns to leave.  He opens the office door and is confronted by two lancers pointing their muskets at him.  Zorro quickly shuts the door and latches it before they fire.  Their bullets pierce the wood of the door.  Zorro moves over to the window where he sees three more soldiers rushing the building.  Ramone enters the room as Zorro turns in the direction of the door again.]

Ramone 
Good evening, Zorro.

[Zorro pauses in front of the door.]

Ramone 
Those shots were a warning.  The pleasure of killing you is mine.

Zorro
My sword says differently, Señor Alcalde.

[Zorro unlatches the door behind his back as Ramone reveals two pistols, one in each hand, he was hiding behind his back.  He aims the pistols at Zorro.]

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

Zorro
Indeed, a sword is no match for a pistol, as your valor is no match for your mouth.

Ramone [through gritted teeth]
Choose your next witticism with care, for it will be your last.

[Zorro tips his head and smiles before opening the door.  He dodges out of the way as Ramone fires, barely missing the two soldiers who were rushing into the office.  Zorro shuts the door again before turning and facing Ramone, throwing up his hands and shrugging.  Ramone has his sword in hand and lunges at Zorro, who parries easily.  The swordfight is short, with Zorro knocking Ramone's blade from his hand.  It clatters to the floor as Zorro approaches Ramone's desk.]

Zorro
Your office is so drab, Alcalde.  Allow me to redecorate it.

[He uses his saber to carve a ‘Z' into the top of the desk.  Ramone looks on angrily.]

Zorro
Much better.  But such a cheap wood.  Tsk.

[The office door flies open and one of the lancers enters, firing his musket.  Both Zorro and Ramone duck as the shot knocks something that was hanging on the wall.  Zorro runs forward and kicks the soldier backward into another lancer who has come up behind him.  He turns and holds up a key.]

Zorro [tossing it to Ramone]
Yours, I believe.

[Ramone catches it and glares angrily after Zorro, who runs out the front door pursued by three soldiers.  Zorro punches the lead lancer then throws his sword up at the roof before going over to where his whip is dangling down the side of the building.
Ramone rushes to the open door.]

Ramone 
Get your rifles!  Get your rifles!

[The lancers scramble to get to their feet and find their weapons.  Zorro reaches the rooftop and recoils his whip before pulling his sword out of the adobe.  The soldiers aim their muskets up at Zorro on the roof.]

Ramone 
Ready!  Aim!

Zorro
Fire!

[He ducks behind a chimney as the lancers fire.  Ramone steps back into his office, disgusted.  Zorro makes his escape on Toronado.]

[The next day in the pueblo, Felipe holds out a dish of custard to Mendoza.]

Mendoza [pointing at himself]
Ah ha, baked for me?

[He waves off the custard.  Mendoza then points into the basket Felipe is holding.]

Mendoza
I think I'll have a piece of this cake.

[Mendoza pulls out a large slab of cake, then indicates that Felipe can enter the cuartel.  Mendoza takes a large bite of the cake as Felipe walks away.]

[Two lancers are repairing the ‘Z' etched into his desk as Ramone enters his office.  The lancers stop their work and stand attention.  Ramone glares at them and walks past them on his way out of the office.  Mendoza is once again walking through the plaza, grabbing his belly and groaning.  He runs right past Ramone who was holding up his hand, meaning to speak to Mendoza.  Again, Ramone stares after Mendoza with a confused expression before striding off.]

[In the jail.  Felipe hands Victoria an orange from the basket.]

Victoria [smiling at him]
Gracias.

[Ramone enters the jail then.]

Ramone [angrily]
Who is this boy?

Victoria [peeling the orange]
A servant of the de la Vegas.  He's a deaf-mute.

[Felipe looks down subserviently before glancing up at Ramone]

Ramone [waving his gloves]
Get out of here!

[Felipe looks confused then glances at Victoria before walking past Ramone out of the jail.  Ramone watches him leave before stepping down and going over to Victoria's cell. He doesn't realize that Felipe is lingering in his office, eavesdropping.]

Ramone [sneeringly]
A gift from the oh-so-chivalrous Don Diego?

Victoria [still peeling the orange]
Yes. [She lets a chunk of orange peel fall to the floor.] Chivalry is a rare commodity around these parts

Ramone 
I am astonished at your composure, Señorita.

Victoria [confidently]
I am innocent and my trial will prove me so.

Ramone 
Trial?  There will be no trial.  The evidence is overwhelming.  Under the emergency statutes, I can hang you in the morning and I have every intention of doing so.

[Victoria's expression changes from confident to concerned as Ramone speaks.  He smiles evilly before leaving.  Victoria stares after him, very scared looking.]

[Felipe rushes into the cave where Diego is cutting the scrap of fabric Zorro tore from Morales's shirt.  Felipe  runs his hands from the top of his head before turning them palms up near his neck [meaning Victoria], then he holds one hand up to his throat while making a fist behind his head with the other and making a yanking motion.]

Diego [interpreting]
Victoria will hang?

[Felipe nods then waves both his arms to his right.]

Diego
At dawn?

[Felipe nods as Diego puts down the scissors.]

Diego
We've got work to do.

[Diego picks up a piece of papers and hold it out to Felipe.]

Diego
See this crest, Felipe?  I saw it on the dead man's saddlebags.

[Felipe stares at the crest on the paper.]

Diego [selecting a test tube of liquid from a rack that holds several other tubes]
It may prove to be the Alcalde's undoing.

[Felipe walks over to the lab table where Diego is pouring the liquid from the test tube into a clear glass dish.]
Diego
Let's see if the intrigue goes any deeper

[Felipe looks on as Diego puts the scrap of shirt into the dish.]

Diego
This is a piece of the dead man's shirt.  Well, let's just see what kind of blood ran through his veins.

[Felipe's eyes grow big as the liquid turns green.  He looks up at Diego, who smiles at him.]

Diego
Now the only question is. . . where is this dead man?

[He pokes the scrap of fabric into the liquid with a metal instrument and the solution turns even greener.]

[In Ramone's office, he and the ‘dead man' are clinking glasses of sherry together.]

Ramone [before taking a sip]
By tomorrow Zorro will be nothing but a memory.

‘Morales'
Ah, be careful, Luis.  A memory like Zorro has a nasty way of turning into a legend.  He could be more trouble dead than he is alive.

Ramone 
As you were?

[Both men chuckle evilly.  Mendoza comes into the office.]

Mendoza
Alcalde. [He turns to close the door.] With permission.  The men are. . . [He notices Ramone's guest and smiles.] Oh, buenos noches, Señor Morales [‘Morales' gets to his feet as Ramone looks away.]  You look much better than when I saw you last.  And with good reason, you were dead. [He glances over at Ramone.] He was deaaaad!

[Mendoza crumples to the floor.  Ramone looks down at him in disgust as ‘Morales' chuckles.]

Ramone [indicating with his hand]
Get up, Mendoza!

Mendoza [getting to his feet]
You were stabbed in the heart! I saw it with my own eyes!

‘Morales'
A subterfuge, I fear, Sergeant.  You and your men dragged me all the way over here without ever realizing I was still alive. [He waves his hand with a flourish.]  Ricardo Cortez, at your service. [He bows.]

Mendoza [to Ramone]
Madre de Dios!  Why didn't you let me in on this plan, mi Alcalde?

Ramone [putting his arm around Mendoza]
It was all a part of my strategy, Sergeant.  If we could you, we could fool anyone, for you are a fool's fool.

Mendoza [grinning]
Oh, thank you, sir.

Ramone 
He gave a superb performance, did he not?

[Mendoza nods in agreement.]

Ramone 
Ricardo and I have been friends for many years.  He is one of the finest actors in Mexico City.

[Cortez smiles and bows again.]

Mendoza
Oh, just a minute.  Now I understand.  This was all a trap to catch Zorro!

Ramone [patting Mendoza on the shoulder]
Excellent, Sergeant, excellent.  Was there ever a doubt that Zorro would come rescue the señorita, hm?  He will not elude me like he did last night.  That is why every soldier in the pueblo is on full alert.

Mendoza
Yes, sir!  They are on full alert and at their posts.

Cortez [reaching down to get his glass of sherry]
Luis, I propose a toast to the ruin of your archenemy.

[Ramone get his glass and lifts it in the air.  He takes a sip then smiles evilly.]

[Zorro is once more climbing up the side of the cuartel.  He pulls a telescopic looking device from his waist band and looks into it.  Below, Cortez is leaving Ramone's office and runs into Mendoza.]

Mendoza
Ah, Señor Corpse. [He shakes Cortez's hand.] You are leaving us?  You are not staying for Zorro's capture?

Cortez
Every good actor knows when to leave the stage, Sergeant.

[Cortez then goes to mount his horse while Zorro watches his every move through the telescope.  Cortez rides off.  Zorro lowers the scope and turns away.

[Cortez is riding his horse through a narrow arroyo.]

Cortez
Whoa

[He slows his horse to a stop before pulling out a cigar from his pocket.  He strikes a match to light it.]

Zorro [from above]
Señor, [his blade cuts the cigar in half] don't you know that cigars are detrimental to your health?

[Zorro salutes Cortez with his sword before jumping down next to Cortez's horse.]

Cortez
Zorro!

Zorro [nodding his head]
At your service.  Down please.

Cortez [nervously dismounting]
How did you know I was really still alive?

Zorro
The insignia of the great Calderón Theatre Company of Mexico City.  So nicely embossed upon your saddlebags.  Who would want to kill an actor, I asked myself?  Not even his  harshest critic.

Cortez
But Señor Zorro, I swear to you, this was not my idea.

Zorro
No more words, my fine actor.  For the rest is silence.  Now if you would be so kind as to come with me.

[Zorro steps aside so Cortez can lead this horse through the arroyo.]

[At the dawn, the plaza is filled with people.  The soldiers emerge from the cuartel in two columns as drums are beaten.  The procession that also contains Ramone and Victoria makes it way to the gallows in the middle of the plaza.  Ramone raises his hands to quiet the crowd after he, Mendoza, and Victoria step onto the platform.  Ramone unrolls a scroll of parchment and begins to read from it.]

Ramone 
Be it known that this woman, Victoria Escalante, has been found guilty of murder [Victoria shots him an angry glance.]  The sentence is that she is to be hanged.  Proceed, Sergeant.

[He rolls the scroll back up.  The sun is shining brightly as Zorro uses the telescope to aim the sun's ray at Mendoza's bottom.  Mendoza's uniform begins to smoke.]

Mendoza [sniffing the air]
Does anyone smell burning? [He turns to see his rear end smoking.] Madre de Dios!  It's me!

[He spins around trying to figure why he is burning.  He stops when he sees Zorro on a nearby rooftop, holding the telescope.  Zorro is also holding up his cape to conceal the identity of the man standing behind it, whom as can be seen is his legs from the knees down.]

Zorro
Yes, Sergeant, I burn too. [Ramone looks at Zorro angrily, while Victoria see Zorro and smiles.]  I apologize if I have made you uncomfortable.  But such are the forces of nature when harnessed by man.  I burn too, with injustice.

[Zorro tosses down the telescope.]

Zorro
Alcalde, a remarkable thing has occurred.  A dead man has been resurrected. [Zorro drops his cape and reveals frightened Cortez.] May I present Ricardo Cortez, alias a corpse, known as Morales.

Ramone [waving his hand at his lancers]
Seize him!

[Several soldiers run to the building where Zorro and Cortez are standing on its roof.]

Zorro
Another step and your own school friend may die yet again.  Be so kind as to let the señorita go.

[Ramone waves his hand again at Mendoza and Victoria is set free.  She runs downs the steps of the gallows to the front of the building where Zorro is on the roof, a big smile on her face.]

Victoria [looking up at Zorro]
Zorro, I knew you would come.

Zorro [looking down at Victoria]
At your service, as always, Señorita. [He gives her a little bow before turning his attention to Cortez.]

Zorro
Señor, a memento of our encounter.

[Zorro steps back and slashes a ‘Z' into Cortez's vest.  Cortez looks over at Ramone who is glaring at Zorro.  Cortez loses his balance and begins to fall.]

Zorro
Be careful, Señor.  Don't fall.

[Cortez rolls off the roof and into a watering trough.  Zorro salutes Ramone mockingly.  Ramone just continues glaring.  Mendoza seems amused.  Cortez sputters and founders in the trough.  People lift Victoria onto their shoulders and begin to carry her around the plaza.  She, however, is watching Zorro ride Toronado from the pueblo with a strange look in her eyes.

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

[Exterior shot of the de la Vega hacienda]

Diego [off camera , with music in the background]
The Alcalde is an incredibly determined, dangerous man.

[Diego is seated at the piano, playing a song, while Felipe emerges from the panel in the fireplace.]

Diego
That viper was prepared to sacrifice Victoria in order to catch Zorro.

[Felipe walks over to the piano.  When he has Diego's attention, he holds out his hands.]

Diego [turning to look in the library]
It's ready?

[Felipe gestures toward the library where the telescope is set up once again.]

Diego [walking toward it]
It's beautiful.  Let's see what the man in the moon has in store for us tonight.

[Diego sits down and peers through the lens.  He takes his eye away and shakes his head, smiling at Felipe, who shyly smiles back.  Diego shakes his head again before looking through the scope again.  He sees the ‘Z' Felipe has draw on the lens so that it is centered on the moon.]

*****END OF EPISODE*****

Transcribed by Pamela Elbert Poland 12 May 2006

This transcription is a not-for-profit publication produced solely for the enjoyment of other Zorro fans and is not intended to infringe upon any rights of Goodman/Rosen Productions, New World Television, Zorro Productions, the estate of Johnston McCulley or anyone else.

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